Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Drama
I don't want to start another one of those threads on PrettyThin for fear of fanning the fire - you know, another thread decrying the dream while adding yet even more?
However, this most recent drama, starting with the sudden layout to the website, and most recently the threads between James and a few members on the website have made me a little bit angry, and really just a bit sat.
I am going to start this entry by playing devil's advocate. Granted, I have been on PrettyThin for just shy of a year. While my post count has just hit 100, I am on every day, reading thread after thread, and keeping current on what most active members have to say. I feel like I know pretty much everyone, though most people don't know me.
That being said, I feel for James. James is not paid to run the site. James really has no personal stake in the site, given that he does not have an eating disorder, and the most exposure he has to eating disorders he has gained from his friend, from whom he inherited the site, and from running the site itself. Essentially, as I see it, he keeps the site running for us, because, for whatever reason, he wants us to have a place to congregate and continue to have a place where we may discuss our issues and find like-minded people. While he may never fully understand us (and really, do we want him to understand us fully? That would mean a descent into the mind-bending world of eating disorders and would we wish that on anyone?), he tries his best to support us.
My point is this: imagine being attacked constantly for something that you do not truly have a personal stake in, attacked constantly for something that you are truly doing for others. Imagine doing something not for profit, but for the benefit of others, and receiving very, very little praise for it. You may not necessarily do it for the praise, but you certainly don't do it for the constant attacks either.
Have you imagined? It must hurt very deeply for him. So I can imagine that, after all of the constant attacks, that his patience wears very thin. It seems to me that no matter what he does he is attacked. Yes, he has done and said some very bone-headed things. Who hasn't? I certainly have. But I am not under constant scrutiny either.
All of those words to say I can see how he could have so easily have gotten sucked into today's drama. I don't think he should have been chastised or attacked so badly for it. Nor do I think he should have risen to the bait.
Ultimately, I simply wish that people could learn how to express their opinions politely and not state them with the intent to inflame. I don't think that it is particularly difficult to identify language that would be offensive or that could possibly be taken badly. After all, one could always defer to the old shibboleth "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."
However, this most recent drama, starting with the sudden layout to the website, and most recently the threads between James and a few members on the website have made me a little bit angry, and really just a bit sat.
I am going to start this entry by playing devil's advocate. Granted, I have been on PrettyThin for just shy of a year. While my post count has just hit 100, I am on every day, reading thread after thread, and keeping current on what most active members have to say. I feel like I know pretty much everyone, though most people don't know me.
That being said, I feel for James. James is not paid to run the site. James really has no personal stake in the site, given that he does not have an eating disorder, and the most exposure he has to eating disorders he has gained from his friend, from whom he inherited the site, and from running the site itself. Essentially, as I see it, he keeps the site running for us, because, for whatever reason, he wants us to have a place to congregate and continue to have a place where we may discuss our issues and find like-minded people. While he may never fully understand us (and really, do we want him to understand us fully? That would mean a descent into the mind-bending world of eating disorders and would we wish that on anyone?), he tries his best to support us.
My point is this: imagine being attacked constantly for something that you do not truly have a personal stake in, attacked constantly for something that you are truly doing for others. Imagine doing something not for profit, but for the benefit of others, and receiving very, very little praise for it. You may not necessarily do it for the praise, but you certainly don't do it for the constant attacks either.
Have you imagined? It must hurt very deeply for him. So I can imagine that, after all of the constant attacks, that his patience wears very thin. It seems to me that no matter what he does he is attacked. Yes, he has done and said some very bone-headed things. Who hasn't? I certainly have. But I am not under constant scrutiny either.
All of those words to say I can see how he could have so easily have gotten sucked into today's drama. I don't think he should have been chastised or attacked so badly for it. Nor do I think he should have risen to the bait.
Ultimately, I simply wish that people could learn how to express their opinions politely and not state them with the intent to inflame. I don't think that it is particularly difficult to identify language that would be offensive or that could possibly be taken badly. After all, one could always defer to the old shibboleth "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."
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